The Weekly News

The Weekly News

Autistic Society dinner

2007-04-07 16:04

You know a child with autism. I don’t have to be psychic to say this. A medical condition which once affected just one person in 10,000 is now so common that just about everyone I talk to knows a family with an autistic child — and too often it’s their own family.

 

070407albertroux

Albert Roux

070407edwardfoxwife

Mr and Mrs Edward Fox

070407janegerald

Jane Asher and Gerald Scarfe

070407scarfeheath

Gerald Scarfe and Ian Heath

In parts of Britain and the US, about one per cent of children have been officially diagnosed with autism. No one knows what causes it, or how it can be prevented — there’s no cure and no vaccine.

Autistic children benefit from good education and treatment, and lots of parents say their child’s difficulties have added a new dimension to family life and enriched it.

But it can also be an exhausting, frustrating and devastating disability. Profoundly autistic children sometimes have to go to residential schools, and they might never be able to live independently or earn a living. That’s a huge responsibility for the whole family to face.

So I was keenly interested when my son Daniel introduced me to Colin Barrow, the president of the National Autistic Society’s board of trustees.

Colin is also deputy leader of Westminster Council, and Dan chairs the Hyde Park residents’ association. As I shook Colin’s hand, I remembered what Hanna had told me a few weeks earlier: “Daniel is inviting us to much smarter parties than we’re used to.”

Hanna was right. Showbiz parties are all about designer labels and bling...but I’ve grown out of those, so I usually go in a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops.

Daniel attends functions where all the men have hand-tied dicky bows. I tried showing up at a lawyers’ ball in a Hawaiian shirt once, and no one was amused, least of all Dan.

Sure enough, the invite Colin and his wife sent, for the National Autistic Society (NAS) annual dinner, at their grand Westminster home, promised to be a real black-tie affair.

It also offered a dinner prepared by Albert Roux, perhaps the greatest chef in the country — the man who transformed British cuisine when he opened Le Gavroche in London 40 years ago.

I’d wear a suit of armour, or Speedo trunks and a feather boa, or even both outfits at once, for an Albert Roux dinner...especially as I knew he would be preparing an exclusive vegetarian option for guests who didn’t eat meat.

Sure enough, his main menu was mouth-watering, and almost enough to tempt me to be a carnivore for the night: canapes of duck roulette and smoked eel, followed by a leek and lobster terrine, with supreme of guinea fowl for the main course.

The veggie choice was equally fabulous — stir-fried vegetables, followed by tomatoes stuffed with rice, and the most succulent fresh fruit.

The guests were a treat too. I chatted to the brilliant cartoonist Gerald Scarfe, who’s married to Jane Asher, the NAS president.

Gerald drew the unforgettable illustrations for Pink Floyd’s The Wall — his art is as instantly recognisable as Dali’s.
Ian Heath, the political cartoonist from Private Eye — and a hundred other places — was there too. I couldn’t believe how young he was.

I recognised Edward Fox’s voice before I saw his face. He’s barely changed since The Day Of The Jackal, and like many actors he’s a great conversationalist — totally confident and full of fascinating stories. Hanna and I felt as though we were being treated to a private performance.

The auction after dinner raised a breathtaking £50,000 or more.

I auctioned a crystal vase which I designed myself: it netted five grand, but Gerald Scarfe easily trumped me — a guest paid £15,000 to be caricatured by the master.

I have to admit it’s a prize I’d love, but I was also tempted by the Heath original painting, the weekend at the Grand in Amsterdam and the astrological necklace from Bentleys, with the planets and starsigns picked out in gold and diamonds.

But perhaps the most desirable lot of all was the house near Rio de Janiero, overlooking one of 2000 perfect beaches scattered across 365 islands...your own private paradise, for 10 days.

“You’re right,” I told Hanna as we drove home. “Dan really is getting us into a better class of party.”


 

070407christophe

 

Christoph Buchel, the sculptor who filled a warehouse with broken fridges and PCs for his latest exhibition, was staggered when he saw how much junk I’ve accumulated during 20 years in Britain. “We’ve got to make a show out of this,” he insisted. “Let’s call it Uri Geller’s Garage!” I haven’t told him it’ll be the first in a series — I’ve got enough clutter to fill Uri Geller’s Attic, Garden Shed, Understairs Cupboard, Guest Room and Space Under The Sink!

 

 

070407sylviejulie

 

On my way to visit the connoisseur and collector Anthony d’Offay, I stopped at Grays Market off Bond Street to pick out a small gift for the great man. My eye fell on an antiques stand called Spectrum, run by Sylvie (centre of picture) and Julie. Since Anthony has just opened a teashop, I thought I might take him a teaspoon. “We’ve only got one but it’s beautiful, 1744 and solid silver,” said Sylvie. I held it up to the light. The bowl was engraved with a letter “D” — for d’Offay, of course! That’s not mere chance — it must be synchronicity.